she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
