Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
