what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
