you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
