Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we should paint friendship bongs
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