Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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