I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
