You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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