I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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