Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
