Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
