I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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