my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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