So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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