I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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