Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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