evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
