Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
