I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So vagazzling was a success
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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