Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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