people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
