She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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