the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
