I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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