Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize