Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
