so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize