Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
