How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
