just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
