it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
