With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
