why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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