Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
