hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
