I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
