She's JV to your varsity
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
