My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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