If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
do nipples grow back?
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