so that wasnt chicken after all
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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