physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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