I think I won the penis lottery.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The power of my boobs compel you
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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