If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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