How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
