her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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