it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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