Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
