he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
