I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
im holly from the hills drunk
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
