But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
