Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
