grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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