after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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