:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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