Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
