Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
only if we run a train.
done.
My pussy is not your playground.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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