i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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