I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
As shirtless as possible
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
