Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize