Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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