Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
